babyboba

Disclaimer: If you’re afraid of the breast or talk of the breast, you might want to skip this post. Or maybe you just don’t want to know these details of my life.

The breast is best. Before I had the runt, the husband would constantly remind me of my goal to breastfeed with that mantra. In the recent years, a lot of studies have extolled the virtues of breastfeeding and as a result, when we found out we were having a baby, I just assumed breastfeeding was in my future. In other words, formula was not in the picture. Then the squirt was born, and she had high levels of bilirubin which led to jaundice. And the non sitting under a lamp cure for that was forcing liquids into her so she could flush her system. So we had to supplement and since there’s no milk in the breast for a couple of days, we had to supplement with formula, so there we were, day 1 in the hospital and already my breast only mentality was shot. So this is a short list of things I wish I had known before about breastfeeding that they don’t tell you in the books.

1. Misconception #1 Breastfeeding doesn’t hurt. So if you read all the books and online, they all say that if breastfeeding hurts then you’re doing it wrong. But if you really think about it, you’re taking another human, throwing them on your breast, having them suck, vigorously I might add, and it’s not going to take some adjusting to? So, yeah, it hurt when I started. I didn’t know what I was doing, the squirt didn’t know what she was doing, so there was an adjustment process and I have to say it was a painful one. I don’t know how any amateur could learn how to do it right without having those growing pains. It took about 6 days before I got the hang of it. Which if you consider I was feeding ever 2-3 hours, comes out to over 50 tries before we figured how to latch on. So my suggestion for new moms. 1. When you get your baby and start to try breastfeeding, stick a finger in her mouth and see what it feels like to have them suck on your finger. It’ll give you a better idea of what’s going on with the breast. 2. If you have a pump, try it out and get used to the sensation, that will also help you get more comfortable with what you’re supposed to feel. 3. It’s going to hurt, I won’t lie, but stay with it. And you’ll get the hang of it.

2. Misconception #2 The breast is the only way. So we were supplementing with formula the first 4-5 days before my milk came in and I was worried this was going to deter the squirt from breastfeeding from life. The books make it seem like if you give your baby one bottle of formula that you are doomed and you can forget about breastfeeding after that. That’s not true! Your child is forgiving, the breasts are forgiving. I remember one night, I was exhausted, and the baby was hungry and I was so frustrated. I threw a bottle of formula at the husband and said, feed her! I can’t take it! You will be tired, and if you’re frustrated, it will show in your body, and it will make your baby tense too. So if she needs to have some formula here or there, it’s not the end of the world. And maybe it’s just enough so she isn’t so worked up. I’m just saying a little formula won’t ruin your future of breastfeeding, so if you end up giving some formula in the beginning, don’t give up on the breast. Keep at it.

3. Discovery #1 - Start with the football hold and lots of pillows. In the beginning it will be hard to imagine that you’re going to one day be able to do this without the pillows. A boppy is useful as well. But this hold is a great starter hold and soon the pillows will seem totally unneceesary.

4. Discovery #2 - Beware of overstimulation. Most of the books talk about lack of milk, or how to increase milk supply. For me, I was blessed with too much milk and when that happens, man, that’s discomfort. We had this problem because again since we needed to supplement the first week, I would feed her, then pump to get more milk to supplement and as a result, when we were done with the supplementing, there was too much milk. Way too much, so if this happens to you, don’t try to pump out all the milk because then your body will think you need more milk but instead just pump out enough so it doesn’t hurt. Enough to remove discomfort and no more.

And finally, I would say don’t give up. Eventually it gets easier. Eventually you even feel comfortable doing it in public, fully covered of course. And it really makes you feel close to your child. In the beginning it’s one of the most engaging things your child will do, actually it’s the only engaging thing she will do, and you will be so glad to have that connection with her.  And fyi, it gets messy. Have plenty of burp cloths on hand. I got a suggestion to use cloth diapers and have to admit they have been great.

So I’ve been slow about posting about the pushing part. Maybe because a part of me is already trying to forget. Because there’s no pain like the pain of childbirth. hahaha.. Anyways, to get back to where I left off a couple posts ago, around 6 am I was fully dilated. The epidural gave me a short break of pain until 7 am when it was time to start pushing. Pushing is hard to describe because there’s no real way to practice until it’s time to push. And then with the epidural, it’s so hard to know how to push. The nurse said to imagine I was super constipated and had to poo, though imagine poo-ing a watermelon out of your butt. Yeah, right! Anyways, so it took me quite a while to get the hang of pushing and actually, I don’t really know how I was able to push her out because I couldn’t tell if I was doing it right even at the end. Since I couldn’t feel anything, we asked the nurse to stop the epidural so I could feel something and really push. It takes a while for the epidural to wear off though, so I would say I uselessly pushed for about 2 hours, and then around 9 I started to actually feel the contractions and that’s where the real pushing began. During the classes they were telling us that when you push it’s like taking 2 steps forward and then 1 step back every time there’s a contraction. It definitely took a while.

I think the nurse you have with you in the room plays such a big part in how you do in the delivery process. The original nurse we had in our labor room was fantastic, very encouraging and always checking in on me. The shifts then changed and we had a new nurse for the pushing part. She was only ok, she pretty much just showed the hubs how to tell when a contraction was coming and then just sat watching the machines. Around 10:30, my doctor returned and she really helped move me along. This is when I really started feeling the pain, it was stressful because she expected me to be further along and threatened that if I didn’t get the baby out soon then she’d have to do a cesarean. Talk about motivation!

So I was pushing pushing pushing, and finally we heard that the head was there and that with a few more pushes the baby would be out. I had to get a cut down there because the head was too big, which incredibly, you don’t even feel until after the baby comes out and they start to stitch you up again. So 4 hours after I started this incredible journey, a head finally appeared and the next 20 min flew by as the head came out and then with a final push the rest of our baby girl came out and then they went to work cleaning her off and sucking out everything from her nose and mouth. Then in a fit of exhaustion I could finally lie back and hear the cries of our child. The hubby was torn between seeing his new daughter and trying to make sure I was ok. But it’s the most precious thing when you hear the first cries of your child followed by seeing a wriggling child that turns out to be yours.

And then after that there’s the pain of being stitched up, pushing out the placenta, and then being super exhausted. After that, they cleaned me up, and then took the squirt in for some tests while they transferred me to the maternity ward. Thus ends my labor and delivery story. Of course there was a bunch of stuff that happens next like, learning how to breastfeed, dealing with jaundice, changing countless diapers, and getting little to no sleep, and recovering from the episiotomy. And that’s just to start.

now that we’ve hit the month mark, i’ve been observing a few things while i watch my runt throughout the day.

• the baby acne has come, and we now see little splotches over the forehead and face along with the ever present skin shedding. i have 2 theories about this. One, since we are breastfeeding, sometimes she doesn’t latch on, so the milk and breast end up getting all over her face. Two, in frustration, the Torito will often rub her face in my shirt and the detergent might be too abrasive for her.
• When she sleeps, sometimes she will have a nightmare and wake up crying, if I pick her up and hold her, she’ll calm down and fall back asleep. I wonder what she dreams about and what would make her startle herself awake.
• The hubby’s wall shattering snoring has been passed on from father to daughter. Last night in our middle of the night feeding, I held a snorer while listening to another. I hope she doesn’t snore through walls too!
• How come when babies sleep they like to have their hands over their head, live a referee saying touchdown in football? Because of this, we are already out of the swaddle and just cover her with a blankie.
• Pamper’s sensitive diapers kick butt because of the yellow line that turns blue when she’s pee-ed

my parents came down this weekend to celebrate the squirt’s one month birthday. the last month has passed by so quickly. we have gone through countless diapers, graduating from the N’s to the 1’s. we have mastered breastfeeding. we have grown out of the newborn onesies. the squid has grown a double chin and has chubby arms and legs. it’s amazing. i love it.

i am now a mommy. a mommy for 3 weeks actually. the first 3 weeks have passed by in a blur as we have been adjusting to a 3 hour feed, poop, sleep schedule. the days when i can have more than 4 hours of continuous sleep are behind me. in fact, if i get 3 hours now, i am feeling pretty lucky.

after 38 weeks of having our little boba in my belly, it’s crazy now that she is out and has become the center of our lives. we are learning the different cries, adjusting to breastfeeding, and starting to leave the house now.

it’s almost been a month, and the memories of labor and delivery are starting to fade. i guess that’s the beauty of having a baby, you almost forget how painful it was to get here. or at least enough to think it’s worth going through to get.

our boba’s birth process began on july 17th. i had gone for a second round of antepartum testing for the high blood pressure in the morning. everything had checked out and we were preparing for induction the next day, so we went out for lunch before the scheduled doctor’s appointment. in the afternoon we went to see the doctor for our regular check up, and the doc said, the blood pressure is too high, go to the hospital, it’s time. so off we went.

our tour of all parts of the maternity ward at the hospital was coming to a close, we got sent to triage where they hooked me up to a fetal monitor,a contraction monitor, and a blood pressure monitor. these monitors would be with me for the next 20 hours. this was the beginning of the tubes attached to me. a little bit later, we also added the IV and we sat in triage while waiting for a labor room to be prepared. this part was pretty boring. a couple hours later, they finally had a room for me, and around 7 pm the doc came in to give me the cervidil. The cervidil is designed to help open the cervix so they could give me the pitocin to start the labor. So the plan was to install the cervidil, let it do it’s thing for 12 hours, then add the pitocin which would start the labor and then some time later the baby would come. Given the average labor time is 18 hours, we thought the baby would come some time late friday or saturday.

The husband and I then spent the night watching tv, where the nurse would come in every once in a while and say, are you feeling your contractions? and i would say no, and we would repeat that every hour when she came in. We decided to get some sleep since we expected labor to begin the next day, so the husband settled himself into the recliner and soon fell into a deep sleep. Around 1 am, I went to use the bathroom and felt a little pop followed by a slight gush of water. I came back to tell the nurse I think my water broke, and she tested me with that piece of paper and confirmed the water had indeed broke and also that I was 1 cm dilated. We were on our way! For the next few hours, my labor began. It started off slowly, oh only a few cramps, it’s not too bad. I can do this. Then the pain started coming more often and more furious. In between I would fall into fitful bouts of sleep with random vivid dreams that I would forget as soon as the contraction began.

Around 4 am, the pain became too much, and the husband finally woke up as my cries of pain were too much to contain and I called out for the drugs. So to be up front, the goal originally was to try to do this au naturale, but with the blood pressure issues, I was unable to move around, and I was stuck to the bed that coupled with the warnings from the doc saying if the blood pressure stayed high, they would do a c-section. So the call for drugs came.

They started out by trying to give me that drug they put in the IV, that’s supposed to take the edge off though make me drowsy. They gave me that, and checked me to see that I was 4 cm dilated, moving right along. An hour later, the pain was just as bad as ever, and the nurse was like.. well if it was going to work, it would have worked by now. time for the epidural? so the man with the needle was called, and i added to the tubes attached to me with the epidural in the back. it should be said though that when you ask for the epidural, it’s not like they can give it to you right away. First they have to give you something through the IV, then the anesthesiologist has to make his way to your room, meanwhile you’re still fighting through the contractions. That being said, by the time he came and gave me the epidural, they checked me again and pow I was 9 cm dilated. Doh! So come 7 am, I was fully dilated. My doctor was quite surprised at my progress.

Tomorrow we talk about pushing..