Having a baby in the NICU
Posted by admin on Wednesday Jun 23, 2010 Under UncategorizedHaving a baby in the NICU is a totally different birth experience. From the time of birth, they whisk your baby away to make sure everything is ok, they have to monitor all kinds of things when your baby doesn’t remember to always breathe and when your baby doesn’t know how to suck, swallow and breathe at the same time. It starts from the moment you go from delivery into recovery. Instead of getting your baby in your room where you begin parenting right away, your room is really a quiet haven. There are little to no interruptions, and you can actually get some rest.
Instead of waking to change diapers and feed your little one, you have to wake up to pump and you have to pump because it’s pretty much the only active things you can do for your child. On the plus side, I was able to stock up on pumping materials.
We delivered at UCLA Westwood which is one of the best hospitals on the west coast. That being the case, it’s a tertiary hospital which means they can’t turn anyone away, and it’s also where they bring the babies other hospitals can’t help. So when you have a premie like our little one who is healthy, just early, she’s the one no one is really worried about. That was great for me, since I could go and see our daughter and spend hours there and no one really paid any attention to us. Westwood is also a well oiled machine. They get so many people in and out, that after 2 nights, 1 of which was when I delivered, I got kicked out and sent home. The kiddo spent about a week at UCLA before they approached us about transferring her to UCLA Santa Monica, which is a community hospital, geared for babies like ours, healthy, but need time to grow.
At Santa Monica, we had to adjust to a whole new environment. Parking was more of a hassle, though at least much cheaper. The NICU is much smaller and definitely quieter. The nurses there are focused on helping babies grow, so they have much different perspectives than the nurses we had in Westwood. It was like adjusting to a new set of rules and procedures.
As a parent, it’s hard having nurses take care of your baby most of the day and only dropping in when you can. I can only make it in a couple hours a day, and I usually try to time it around feedings, where at least I’ll be able to change a diaper, take a temperature, attempt to feed, and then hold my kiddo for an hour or 2. Then I pass her back to the nurse who will watch her the rest of the day. I struggle with guilt for not spending enough time with her, but then also trying to balance time with Torito. I admit it’s also been a period that allows me to heal and recover fully without the midnight feedings and diaper changes. So there are some benefits to this scenario. I still need to wake up and pump, but I can schedule those around when I want to do pump and not be at the beck and call of our baby.
I’ve had to come to terms with not being able to breastfeed right away and have that time where I am uniquely tied to my baby. I’ve learned to wait patiently to see if the time I’m in the NICU will be a time when she is alert and ready to feed. And there are times when she is awake and alert, but just not in the mood and is disorganized and I can’t take it personally. I have to wait and let her grow and mature. I have to be happy changing a diaper and taking a temperature and know that is all I can do for her now. I treasure that hour where it’s just the 2 of us and I get to hold her and place her on my chest and know at least for that moment, we are at peace. And every night before we go to sleep, we pray a prayer of thankfulness that she is healthy and one day closer to being able to come home.



